Annie Kirkwood, Author
Rte 1 Box 100
Bunch, OK 74931-9705
October/November 2003 — Issue #72
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This is Annie's section
I hope each of you are doing well. You are so appreciated because of the major part you have played in my healing this past year. It has been a year since Byron went home. I'm coming to terms slowly and your prayers have helped. Maybe not slowly, but more like in waves. Sometimes I'm in the present and very hopeful, then I hit a low and wonder what I'm doing here. You have helped with your calls, cards, and emails. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
August 15th was so very lovely. The group was small. But Spirit was very present, making the whole weekend seem special. Mother Mary and Jesus both came and with them a host of angelic beings. It was a very moving experience and one that has been caught in photos. Not exactly the image of Mother Mary or Jesus, but the light that surrounds them. In exactly the spot I saw their apparition, a lady, using her digital camera, captured some great pictures of their light and the colors in the light. We also have pictures taken with a regular camera. I will be getting these on the internet soon. We are in the middle of changing web caretakers. So maybe with our new web person being local, it will help to get things together faster.
I've heard back from several of the people who attended and they repeatedly stated that there was such a feeling of being with family. The feeling of acceptance and love was what gave us the feeling of family. We were individuals coming together to share from our experience, love, and history. And in sharing ourselves, we shared Spirit. You could feel the Love almost in a tangible way.
I want to thank a special person who came in spite of his responsibilities and obligations, to do many of the things Byron did to prepare. Ken Fussichen came early that week and was a great help and more than that . . . he was my support. It was difficult because it was, after all, the first time doing Mary Day without Byron and all his effort. But Ken stepped right in and took over the mantle.
Often people call and want to know what goes on, so I will share all that happened as I remember it. On Thursday evening (August 14th) I was preparing a large pot of soup for the next day. Sally and Martha, from Texas, came over to visit while I cooked. It was a fun time of laughing and visiting. I was in my element because one my most favorite things to do is cook for a crowd and have people gather in my kitchen.
Then on Friday morning, the group arrived, welcoming each other like long-lost friends. Many had been here before and took over the hosting duties. During the day we talked to each other. Sally brought her table and gave Reiki treatments in the office/living room. We shared our meal and once again people gathered in twos or threes to talk. Others went into Tahlequah, the capital of the Cherokee Nation, to see the sights.
Later, we congregated at the Lake for a picnic supper and to await the sunset and any phenomena that occurs along with Mother Mary. Many see the sun spin and change colors. I've looked directly into the sun since 1993 without any problems. It seems that everyone has some sort of experience. Although not everyone's experience is dramatic, it is uplifting. These are most definitely spiritual apparitions and not always physical ones. To have captured any of the phenomena on film is so validating.
On Friday (August 15th) afternoon, I got a call from a man who was lost-not unusual because we are so rural. After a while he and two ladies arrived. They were very tired as they had just driven in from Dallas. I had never met them, but Martha soon leaned over on the sofa and went to sleep in a room full of conversing people. She later told us that she had gotten the inner message to come. It was her friend who took the digital pictures. Martha told us her story of going through illness, chemotherapy, and healing-a beautiful story. When we were at the lake, she was sitting to my left and up in front several yards. Between us is where I saw the apparition. Mother Mary and Jesus appeared and looked over the group as if they were counting to see if everyone was there. Then they moved over to Martha and began to work on her. From behind them poured out angelic/light beings, who spread out into the group. During the time Mother Mary was working on Martha, she was speaking to me too. A lot of it was personal, and frankly I don't remember it except for the gist of it. She comforted me and gave me a little direction.
The message is:
"You are appreciated, loved and cherished, especially those who came over the highways and byways.
Pray for the people you see, hear, speak to through writings or voice, are aware of, or that you touch in any way.
Have tolerance and compassion.
This year will be a continuation of trouble and turmoil. Do not go into fear. I am with you always."
On Saturday, the group once again met at my house. We had a round-table discussion. Like I said before, it was more a sharing this year even in this discussion. Other years the discussions have leaned more to the gnashing of ideas, but this year it seemed we were in sync and the discussion was more of a "Oh, yes" type of discussion.
Writing about it doesn't give you an idea of what really happens because so much goes on in unseen and unheard levels. The senses are filled and there is a soul satisfaction that is not describable. I heard back later from several people and they commented most on the feeling of being with family and home. They wanted me to know how happy they were that they were here. And then later I realized that I was happy to be here too.
What I'm learning at this time isn't apparent. It's been time to attend to the grieving. So it has been living one day at a time. The assurance is that this too will pass. This part of the newsletter has been very difficult to write; I don't know why. But having finished it at long last gives me a feeling it is going to be okay. It's a welcomed feeling as this is what I've been striving for. I want to be okay with how my life is now without my partner. I choose to have the sweetness of life in me all the time. So once again, thank you for helping just by being.
Your friend, Annie
This is Mother Mary's section
My dear children,
I come to you with joy and hope in my heart. An important thing to remember is to never give in to your fears, instead adopt an attitude of hope. Hope can help you through bad times, hope can give you strength to overcome adversity and situations that seem to be detrimental. When you realize that God equipped you with many wonderful ways to cope with life, you will be so much more hopeful.
The greatest strength you have is your belief. What is your belief? What sustains you in times of trouble? Is it a belief in a benevolent and loving Creator? Or do you believe in an angry God? When you truly accept that He, who created you, loves you without limit or condition, you will finally arrive at a place of eternal hope. You will have the belief in place to see you through all of life's situations and circumstances.
You see, my little children, hope is eternal now. And now, this moment in time, you can experience eternalness. You do not have to await some distant future, or condition: not death, or goodness, or atonement, or religious rituals. You can live in the Divine eternalness now. When you live in hope, you are in a state of eternity. When you love unconditionally, you are living in eternity. Eternity is now, today. This freedom to live eternally is available all the time. And yes, many people live in eternalness without realizing it. They just live that way, hopeful, uplifted, loving most times unconditionally, with a great joy in their lives.
If you can remember, Jesus said, "It is the Father's pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Luke 12:32) Now believe that these words are true. It is God's greatest pleasure to give to His children. When are you, as a parent, most at one with your child? One of the times is when you are giving them something. God wants you to be happy. And you want to be happy, filled with Spirit, to be loving. You already have these available to you-not when you die and if you have been good. But today you have God's Spirit within you. Today, no matter what you are feeling, you have the possibility of staying in a hopeful attitude. You have so much available to you.
To be happy is something you choose, it is not something that happens to you. Remember to be joyful, because joy is a great healer. True joy is not had at the expense of anyone. True joy is a bubbling assurance of the rightness of life. You are joyful when you are uplifted and hopeful. Joy is contentment; it is a deep satisfaction that life is good and you are right in your world. Joy is happiness which is an eternal condition. It is a happiness that is not dependent on outside situations or conditions. So many people think, "I will be happy when I find true love, or get a better job, or have more money." That is not happiness; it is a way for you to delay happiness, to put off being joyful and filled with hope.
Happiness does not rely on outer forces; it comes from deep within you. Happiness and hope come from a place so deep within you that outer forces cannot touch it. So realize that when you are satisfied that you are living your life to the best of your ability, then you are experiencing happiness and joy. When you are content, you are filled with joy and hope. These gifts are entwined and interconnected. Hope gives way to joy which bring happiness which places you in a blessed state.
You are blessed, not just blest, but blessed. This blessedness places you in your sacredness. This is the deep inner connection to Love, Peace, Joy, which is God. There is a state within you where you are so connected to the Divine that you too are Divine. That is where your joy, peace and love reside awaiting your withdrawal. You withdraw from those accounts from time to time. At times, you also withdraw into the outer part of your life only, leaving behind all connection to your blessedness.
My little children, in no way am I belittling life on earth. I know it well. While you are in this life, it seems all so important and all that you can deal with . . . so much. At times life gives you much activity, you are exhausted with life. At times life seems difficult, filled with problems and overwhelming. These are the times to remember that you are blessed and return to the hope, joy, and happiness that is within you. Return to your peace, to your seat of love, so that you can replenish your soul. You not only live on the physical, but your soul is very involved in your life, because it is your life. You spirit is involved in your life and this can be the biggest blessing.
When you feel your spirit is down, know that you are not feeling a lack of spirit, but a turning away from your blessedness. You are always able to choose, and what you choose momentarily is how you will feel, think, believe, and live. Yes, you will have difficulties in your life, that is simply a part of life. Sometimes there will be upsets, but you will experience less of them when you stay in a mode of blessedness, hope, and joy. Do not run away from problems, meet them and greet them; let them teach you and bring to you their blessing.
Being in a state of blessedness, where you are assured of your sacredness and you are at peace and filled with love, does not mean you will not go through life's stages or conditions, or that your body will not be affected by its environment. Staying in a state of blessedness means you will face and deal with life's stages, conditions, and situations in peace, filled with hope, joy, and love. It means you will not run away from life, but live it to its fullest. When it is time to laugh, you will; when it is time to cry, you will; when it is time to accomplish greatness, you will; and when it is time to mourn, you will. It means in all of life's situations, you will be strong, courageous and overcome whatever life metes out with hope. It also means that when you cry or mourn you will not stay in sadness, but will return to your true nature of joy, hope, love, and peace.
Be of good cheer, for all you need is within you. All your soul needs is within you. You a blessed child of God. You are loved, so be joyful. You and all people are so loved, it is something to share. Share these concepts, not in a preachy way, but in how you live your life, in how you treat others, and in how you treat yourself.
I am loving you, my children,
Mary, Mother of Jesus
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Original date: October 10, 2003
Last updated: October 10, 2003