Annie Kirkwood, Author
Rte 1 Box 100
Bunch, OK 74931-9705
August/September 2002 — Issue #65
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This is Annie's section
I’ve being doing life and family. My children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren came to visit for the fourth of July. A week later friends of ours visited, so I’ve had a busy and enjoyable summer.
We now have a medical situation and ask for prayers for Byron’s dad. I believe God can heal all situations when it is for our highest good. We ask for a healing or a remission so that we can have some quality time with him. Please keep the rest of the family in your prayers. Mother Mary says that prayers are accumulative. Right now we can use all the prayers we can get. We are grateful for your support and for the prayers in advance.
When I look back at what I’m learning, I realize it’s not filled with phenomena and drama; it’s much quieter. Maybe it was the co-dependency that made it all seem so phenomenal before. I know that at one time I was the ultimate drama queen. I lived from crisis to crisis, and it seemed that it was “always something,” in the words of Gilda Radner. But now I have to look for the lessons, because they seem to come easier and with more subtlety.
I like doing life. We were in a local Barnes and Noble bookstore and Byron told the clerk that I had written books. She asked me if I liked it. My answer surprised me. I replied that, yes I did, because they were like taking dictation and not at all like work, but what I liked most of all was doing life—getting up every morning, maintaining an uplifted outlook on life, remembering that life is a gift and my time on earth is to be enjoyed while I do something productive for humanity.
The most important thing I do for humanity is pray. To remember to keep my knee-jerk assumptions and reactions on the positive side—this is something I’ve been working on for some time and continue to. My first reaction is to look for what is wrong, and then what is good. Also, I’m committed to being accepting, to accept people as they are, and not try to solve their problems or fix them. Just to simply remember that God accepts me just as I am, and He also accepts the other person just as they are. So who am I to do any different?
You may have heard me describe myself as an “optimistic pessimist” because of this tendency. In the past I was worse; now I can begin looking for the good quicker than I used to. I’m not putting myself down, but following the old adage of “Know thyself.” Knowing that I tend to be more pessimistic helps me to quickly look for the good in a situation or person.
Now back to prayer, we have a prayer basket in which we place the names of people who have requested prayer. If they write or email, I will place the page of the letter or the email with the request in the basket. But most times I simply write the person’s name and enter it into the prayer basket. I feel that it is not up to me to decide what is needed—that God knows better than anyone what the needs are.
I used to knock my brains out trying to decide what and how to pray for my needs. Now I talk to God just like I would to you or Byron. I tell Him what is going on, even though He knows what is happening in my life. I return to Jesus’ words, “Ask and it shall be given you; seek and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asks, receives; and he that seeks, finds; and to him that knocks, it shall be opened.” Luke 11: 9 & 10.
Another thing happens when I ask—it becomes clear in my mind what I’m asking for. It’s not some nebulous feeling, but a clear, thought-out request. I’m not saying, “God, you know what I mean.” It seems to me that when Jesus gave us this lesson, he was saying that we need to take charge of our wants, needs, and desires—use our God-given gift of choice, and be responsible in our request.
It helps to remind myself that God sees the bigger picture. He knows my agenda on earth, my life goals, and how what I’m asking for will effect the people around me. When I remind myself of this, it’s not always easiest, but easier to surrender to His will—to allow God to work it all out for my highest good and for the people who will be affected by my request.
Mother Mary says that prayer does not change God, it changes us. As we ask for prayers for our loved one, we are aware that how it works out, or how it looks, or how that comes about, is really up to God, and we are comfortable with that. My friend Anita says, “What we ask for is our business, but how it is given is God’s business.” She really shortens it by saying, “’What’ is our business, ‘how’ is God’s.”
There are other aspects of prayer for me. There is gratefulness, joy, peace, and love. There are times I simply remember how much God loves us, and then it’s easy to have faith, to trust Him to answer in a way that is better for everyone. Prayer is something I do daily, and more often when possible. To talk to God is a way of life with me. To have this Great Spirit be interested enough in me to listen is a blessing. To just sit in silence, be with God and feel peace, helps me get out of the fear, frustration, and ickyness of dysfunction.
We will be hosting Mary Day, August 15th, with a workshop on Friday the 16th and possibly the 17th too. I’ve been told that we will have peer-panels made up of the people who attend. There will be discussion groups where those present will share from their storehouse of experience. It will not be therapy or preaching, or teaching, but a sharing of our being and who we are. I’ve been told we are all gurus and no one person will be more experienced than the other. What we all have is spirit, love, and the ability to share. For more information, please call me at 918-696-2401. This is all in Spirit’s hands and comes through inner guidance. So it will be an interesting and enlightening time. I look forward to meeting new friends, and to seeing old friends once again. I pray that all who feel the urge will be provided with the means, time, and protection as we gather together. Until next time, I remain your friend,
This is Mother Mary's section
My dear children,
I come to you with great joy for there is so much more to impart, to give, and to share with you. I spoke previously about the wonderful gift from God of “choice.” Today I speak about one of the other gifts of God—the gift of life, given to you without limit or condition. The very essence that animates you, causes you to think, to react, to feel, to decipher—is the spirit essence of life. It is God giving of Himself to you in a very personal way. God gives Himself to you, as you. He is the reason you live, and are active, in mind, body and heart...the reason you can do all the wonderful things you are able to do. Many of you have discovered your many wonderful talents. Others think they have no talent, when in fact each person is filled with talent, with potential, with vitality, and with spirit.
The energy which motivates, propels, urges, stimulates and creates is the essence of God given to you as life. This life energy is pure as is God. It comes to you as a gift, to use as you will. This is your life, my children. It is yours to do with as you will. God allows you to use your life to create from the fount of knowledge. It would be better for you to create only good. Yet, you are free to make mischief, and/or to create beauty.
You may think your life is mundane, when in fact the mundane of life is filled with spirit, with your energy, your interest, your essence. How you use life is up to you. Are you creating a life that brings enjoyment and benefits you and others? Do you pray for your loved ones and your enemies? Are you ready to help in the way other people need help, or do you want to help as you think it should be? Are you living a life of peace or confrontation and conflict? Are you ready and willing to forgive all manner of things, or do you still hold grudges?
Your life is made up of the decisions and choices you make, the small and the large decisions. Your life is your humanness and your spirit. To deny one, in favor of the other, is to deny yourself half of the essence of your life on earth. God created you in such a way that you must acknowledge the body or physical life. He gave you a very physical body, created to be in action on all levels. He made you in His image as spirit, so you are also spirit. It is your spirit that lives for all eternity. It is the soul that goes on and on, no matter what happens to the physical body.
Your spirit is the very basic matter of your life. You connect to your spirit when you go within, for your own thoughts, ideas, desires, needs, and guidance. The spirit of you is that vital part of you that keeps you active on all levels. You are in constant motion. The molecules of your body are always moving as long as there is life to activate the body. The essence that moves you is your spirit. You are in constant and perpetual motions on all levels; your spirit is continuously moving you, at times keeping you on track for your lifetime goals, at other times keeping you plodding along until you can seek on your own. Your emotions are in constant motion, much like a radar system, letting you know what is happening to you, giving you a way to cope with the different situations and circumstances of life, and giving you an outlet to express your feelings.
Your mind never stops working. For with your mind, your body’s responses, reactions, and actions take place. Your brain keeps the body in operation, allowing for many unseen actions to take place to maintain itself, to regenerate, to recuperate, and to sustain. Your mind gives you the ability to use the intelligence that you brought with you into this life. Understand, my little children, that you are alive, vital energy. That even when you sleep, your spirit never falters, for it is eternal.
I urge you to connect to that place deep within you where your spirit connects to God’s Great Spirit. In that place that Jesus called “the kingdom of heaven within” is where your true self is replenished through the re-energizing flow of God’s pure energy. It is in this place that your spirit is the strongest, that your life force is the deepest, and that becomes more than you are. Seek to be still and allow God’s energy and love to heal you. Do not wait until you face dire situations or circumstances to seek this connection to God. Do this now and in those times which are trying, you will have the energy, the fortitude, the spirit to find the way, to advance, and to continue.
Be grateful for this wonderful gift of life by using your life to heal those areas that are within you that have been hurt or damaged. Do this through forgiving, resolving and releasing old hurts. At times it is pride that causes you to not want to forgive, to want to hold onto grudges and slights. The gift of life is like all of God’s gifts, given unconditionally. Your life is yours to use to create peace, loving environments, joy, and beauty or to destroy with hatreds, violence, and wars. It is all up to you how you use your life energy.
I would urge you to use your life as a vehicle of prayer, of love, and of peace. I urge you to create joy and beauty in your own life, then it will spill over into your world. Consciously bring your spirit into every endeavor. It is already there because you are present, but when you consciously bring spirit into your daily activities, they are imbued with more life, more vitality and more energy. Put your spirit to work in your physical life, in your home, and most importantly, in your prayers.
You are made in the image of God and God is love. Therefore, my little children, so are you. Your very life force is comprised of the energy of love. Accept this idea, and allow yourselves to be more loving, to be kinder, more gentle in dealing with yourself and with others. Often it is easier for you to be gentle with others, to be kinder to others, and yet towards yourselves, you continue to berate, to castigate, and to ignore. Each morning make a conscious effort to go within, to seek God’s Spirit within you. Put your energy, love, and spirit into your daily contacts with others and in your daily activities. Use your life for good, for your good, and for the good of mankind. Pray daily for the life force that flows through this world in every living thing. In this way you honor God. I love each of you.
Mary, Mother of Jesus
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Original date: August 6, 2002
Last updated: August 6, 2002